Harry's REAL life
by TheGoldenGryff
Summary: What harry's real life was like at 1...READ!
1. The beggining

Harry's Real Life  
  
Harry: Waa! James: Now, just to look at the meat while Lily's gone to play with Harry.ah. (Throws in magical tastastic spell - whoever eats it tastes it perfectly the way they like it. Food glitters.) Lily: I'm back downstairs! James: Just put a tastastic spell on the meat. Lily: Oh, thank you! I was about to put that spell on anyway. (Looks sideways at meat) It needs a little pepper, though. (Knock on door - knock scares Lily and pepper goes down dress - and knocks hot sauce onto it, too.) Lily: Great. (trying to be calm that she spilt pepper and hot sauce over her favourite dress) Who is it.? Voice from behind door: It's me, Severus! And Lupin! And Sirius! Lily: Oh! Come in! (The trio, then, come wandering in.) Severus: Well, well, well, nice little cottage here. Lily: Not a cottage, Severus, a House. Severus: Whatever. I smell food! Sirius: Me too! Oh, Jaaaaames! James: Yes? Sirius: Do you think this is weird to be in a fan fiction where everyone thinks you are fictional characters from a book? (A/N: Sorry, I just had to put that in!) James: Probably. Who wants some meat!!!! (Everyone slobbers and says yeah) Lily: Great. Slobber for me to clean up! (Brings out mop and starts scrubbing.) 


	2. What's happened to Harry Potter!

(A/N: You know last chapter? Well, you wouldn't believe it - NEW CHAPTER!!!! I guess you guessed. NO REVIEWS - I added so quickly.) Lily: Great, slobber for me to clean up. (Grabs mop and starts cleaning) James: HEY, LILY!!! (Munch munch) COULD YOU GET US SOME LEMONADE!? Lily: Hmm...NO PROBLEM! WAIT THERE DEAR! (Drains mop off into cups) Lily: Here you go!!!!! James: LILY!!!!!! You gave us Slobber! Yuck! Lily: Sorry No other drink!!!!!! (They all go off to the bathroom to wretch, but Lily Stays downstairs, eyeing the last steak in the pan.) Lily: Hmm.Just a tiny bite won't hurt! (Lily starts to eat, and she finds it juicy, tender and oh-so-not-too- chewy!) Lily: Mmmmmmmmmmm... (She eats it all, and in a millisecond, it is all gone.) Lily: Sluuuuuuurp! (They all come back down; But James is running like wildfire down the stairs, with a crying baby Harry.) James: LILY!!!!!!!!!!! We've got to get Harry to the hospital; he has a red scar on his forehead!!! Lily: What-what?! Harry, don't cry. James: We've got to get him to the hospital! HURRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A/N: Heya! Please read and review! I love you guys out there, so GO AND REVIEW! Oooh, see the purple button? So strange and exiting.You must touch it! 


	3. Harry and that scar

A/N - You must remember last time? Harry had his scar, finally. What  
happens next you might say? NOT TELLING YOU-------------Unless you read and  
review this chapter. LOL - this is already telling you what's happening,  
eh? Never mind.  
James:  
HURRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Lupin: Are we Coming with you?  
James: Lupin, it's a full moon out there.  
Lupin: I do not care! *Drapes sheet over head* THERE. I can't see through  
this sheet!  
Sirius: Let me help you. *lifts sheet and drapes it over face* Now we can't  
see THAT ugly mug. Phew!  
(Everyone lets out a tremendous laugh, except Lily and Lupin.)  
Lily: Humph!  
James: Ha-ha! Well, we've got to get to the hospital AND get Lupin out of  
the full moon. Hmm - we've only got 1 broomstick, a large pole and blue  
glue. Who wants the broomstick?  
Severus: Hey, I want -  
Sirius: Hey, James - lets get started by getting the broom and pole, and  
glue them together!  
James: Not a bad Idea! (Does idea) How does that look?  
Sirius, Lily, Severus: Brilliant!  
Lupin: Let me see!  
(At the Hospital)  
James: Excuse me, but my little son has got a red lightning bolt scar on  
his head.  
Nurse: Up to the 20th floor then, my dear. Ask the nurse up there then  
which room to go to. Hmm, that looks a nasty scar. Bye I hope you have a  
nice time!  
Lupin: Like we're going to, it's not a very nice scar, we've got to walk up  
all those flights, and if he needs surgery it costs up to £250,000. Huh.  
(At the 20th floor)  
Lily: Phew! Pant - wheeze - Excuse me, whew - but which tomb - I mean room  
do we go to?  
(Sirius appears)  
Sirius: I'm - getting - tired - of - walking - (falls asleep on the floor)  
James: Move!  
Lupin: Yeah! Move your big fat wasted body!  
(Sirius Wakes up, angry and moves.)  
Nurse: Well well well - Severus.  
Severus: Joanne!  
Lily: Joanne WHO?  
Nurse: I'm Joanne Parchare, Severus Snare's old girlfriend.  
Severus: SNAPE, not snare. What do you think I am - some kind of evil man  
who traps people to flirt with?  
Joanne: Yes, since you trapped me - and also since you don't have many  
girls to go out with.  
(Everyone laughs except for Snape)  
Severus: I'll show you ONCE AND FOR ALL! I'll torture everyone I know  
except my favourite friends or favourite people and show you SEVERUS SNAPE  
HAS LOADS OF GIRLS AND IS VERY POPULAR.  
(Joanne Giggles)  
Joanne: Yeah, right. And I'm the woman who is not talking right now. Ha-ha!  
You're weird.  
Second room, one right behind me, sorry dear! You probably don't know who  
this Severus is, actually.  
Lily: Yes, I do. And he really is stupid isn't he?  
A/N - Welcome back to my ego!  
Reviews - 1  
QueenYamcha - you're the best for reviewing, you know that?  
Okay, so one review isn't the best. So there! Humph. It's better than  
nothing though! 


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